69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
