if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
