bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
