My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
