how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
