Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
