We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
