We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
