I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
