we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
