Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
