nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
