her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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