I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
