i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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