I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
