I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
