Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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