we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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