a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm bleeding and have questions
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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