OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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