the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
