i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
