my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
home. puking in laundry basket.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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