we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
