I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
