he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
