Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
