youre lurking in front of me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
