Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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