Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
