Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
