Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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