You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
