How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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