Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish i was in the wii world.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize