Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Operation Purity has been aborted
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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