Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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