that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
