you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
