you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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