My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
