Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
