It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
false alarm, still single
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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