Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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