Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize