My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize
