My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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