I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize