ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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