What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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