Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
