hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
