your parents love me but you hate me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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