Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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