hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think my moral compass just broke
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize