just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize