I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
