also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
