I'm jealous of your bromance
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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