he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
