Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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