i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
