he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
