Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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