If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
