Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
