Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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