Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
