Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's blow job season.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
