He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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