May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
