He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
