i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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